UNICEF recently released its report comparing the lives of children in 21 industrial nations around the world. At the top of the list are the nations that take the best care of their children - the Netherlands and the Scandinavian countries. At the bottom of the list are the United States (20) and the United Kingdom (21). It found that American and British youth are more likely to smoke, drink alcohol, use drugs, fight and bully, and be sexually active than youngsters elsewhere.
The report assessed whether children feel loved, cherished, special and supported within the family and community, and whether the family and community are being supported in this task by public policy and resources. This global study measured 40 factors, such as poverty, deprivation, relationships with family and peers, happiness and risky behavior.
Another recent study by the Lucile Packard Foundation for Children's Health polled Bay Area parents and found that their greatest concern is the emotional health of their children. This finding is important because emotional health is the crux of a child's well-being; it's an indicator of the quality of life.
Emotionally healthy children lead happier lives. They are more confident and optimistic, less stressed and more joyful. Furthermore, they make healthier choices about their drug and alcohol use, sexual behavior, education and the future.
"If parents are worried about their children's medical health, they go to a doctor," says Childhood Matters radio talk show host Rona Renner. "If they're worried about their children's emotional health, they don't know what to do."
What parents can do: Plants need soil, water and sunshine. When those needs are not met, there are problems. Children also have basic needs that must be met on a daily basis. When they are not met, there are problems.
To be physically healthy, children need nutritious food, sufficient sleep, shelter, exercise and safety. To be emotionally healthy, children need to know they are loved, cherished, respected, understood and supported. Simply filling those needs frequently solves the problems. For example, if a child cries because of hunger, tears dry up once he is fed, and smiles return.
We live in stressful times. Fortunately, we can choose how to react or respond to tough situations. We are taught that "fight or flight" are the basic stress reactions, but these are not our only options. Studies have found women's responses to be "tend and befriend." When stressed, women tend to children and reach out to friends. Talking things over can release stress, introduce a different perspective and build connections and supports. It also improves emotional well-being.
Figure out what your own coping skills are and observe those of your children. Make time for kids to talk through troubles. Give them your full attention. Listen to their words-and their feelings. When they finish reflect a feeling back to them. "You must be sad because ...." If you're right on, a smile may light up the face. When you really liste5B4n and reflect, you can amplify their joy, calm their fears and anxiety, and soothe their anger. Doing this well brings a sense of attunement and a profound joy.
Then you might ask, "What can you do?" Help them explore possible options. Think through the consequences of each. Give them support for making good choices. You may hear a sigh of relief as the burden lifts and emotional well-being returns.
Envisioning a child-friendly America: A lot of work needs to be done in the U.S. to get us off the bottom of the list and make our country a child-friendly one. That work needs to be done by all of us - in our homes, in our communities and in the government. "One of the key things is that the role of government is important," said David Parker of UNICEF, "but the entire society must have at its heart the idea of improving child well-being."
© 2008 Dr. Louise Hart is parent educator, author, mom and grandmother.
Louise wrote two books packed with information about improving happiness and self-esteem. Jack Canfield (author of Chicken Soup for the Soul) praised On the Wings of Self-Esteem: "It's a wonderful book! If everyone in America read this book and did the recommended exercises, half of all the pain and suffering we now experience would disappear."
The Winning Family: Increasing Self-Esteem in You477r Children and Yourself, can help you change negative patterns and create more happiness. To find out more about Louise's next Teleclass: "How to Have a Happier Family", visit: http://www.louisehart.info/teleclass.htm To learn more about her books and workshops, or to sign up for the "risk-free" newsletter, go to: http://www.louisehart.info/
